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I believe that nowadays there is a hype for a healthy lifestyle. And if you don’t eat healthy, then you are a loser. There are many eating disorders. Today we’re talking about orthorexia (unhealthy obsession with healthy eating). I have a friend who suffered from orthorexia. She has agreed to interview her.

My friend’s name is Emma. She lives in the Netherlands. Emma always had stomach problems and was hospitalized almost every week. When she started having her new healthy diet, everything was fine.

Emma ate only at home, never in restaurants, and when she visited her friends.  Furthermore, she ate only organic products from certain producers. Emma had obsessive thoughts that if she didn’t eat like this or ate something else, she would end up in the hospital again.

“It was simply an addiction. Like an addiction to drugs or alcohol. All I had was control over my healthy diet and good health. Later, I felt that everything was out of control and I needed help. It was all unhealthy, but I could not escape from this abyss”, Emma recalls.

When did you realize that you had orthorexia?

I realized, upon doing my own research on eating disorders, that there was something called orthorexia. I happened to stumble upon it and I realized that’s precisely what I had. It was by chance, really.

How did it start?

It started by wanting to eat healthier because I had a lot of stomach issues at the time. That’s why I was put on an elimination diet of chocolate, oils, and acidic food. Slowly this developed into me eliminating more and more things. Then, it became a competition for calories, and that’s when it went completely out of control.  

I was obsessed with looking at the contents, origins of the food, and labels. Even as far as checking the water bottles. I used to write lists of what I ate, and it had to be under 700 calories per day. Furthermore, I was in my own competition, and I was the only competitor. 

What were you most worried about?

When people started to notice that I’d lost a lot of weight. The lowest I weighed was 46 kilos. A doctor told me I couldn’t afford to drop any more weight. 

I used to sneak looking at labels at the supermarket. My ex-partner caught me and told me I was acting like the equivalent of a drug addict but with food. He added that if I didn’t stop, he would have me hospitalized. That’s when I realized that what, I thought, was my private little secret was actually very visible. Also, I realized this wasn’t a way to live, trapped in my mind with rules that didn’t make sense. 

Researchers state that people with orthorexia may have obsessive-compulsive disorder, too. Did you have it, too? 

[Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD–is a mental disorder when a person has unwanted obsessive thoughts that are followed by some rituals. For example, a person believes that there will be an earthquake if s/he doesn’t turn on and off the light before leaving an apartment 21 times.)]

I do have OCD. Moreover, I always had it from when I was a little girl. From a young, I always had weird OCD rituals around food. For instance, foods cannot touch each other, solid foods cannot be near liquid foods, and periods of obsession with certain foods only. 

Did people around you support you?

No, because I kept it a secret and the people who did notice, said nothing and only said after I recovered from orthorexia. They were worried. 

How did you manage to break free from orthorexia?

I had to actively stop looking at labels. In addition, I got rid of any apps or programs that count calories. To this day, calorie-counting watches are very triggering to me. I started to break weird food rules I made. Whenever I had a restrictive thought, I would actively go against it. 

One day I thought: would I be proud of the person I have become now when I was 14 years old? And the answer was no. It was another good incentive to move forward.

Top 5 things not to say to a person who has got orthorexia?

1. You lost weight. (In an anorexic mind, this is a validation to keep continuing, as it’s never good enough) 
2. You gained weight.
3. Giving unsolicited food advice on what to eat and what not to eat.
4. Telling someone they must eat.
5. Telling someone to snap out of it.

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Read a blog post about how Instagram might cause orthorexia, that is based on research studies.