#teachingisfun

My colleague wanted to meet at a bookstore and buy some books. I entered the bookstore with a mantra: “I will not buy any books today.” The problem is that I have no room to store books in my home office. 

I love books, I have too many books, according to my husband [but we know he’s wrong], and I have no room in my apartment to keep more books. Who am I kidding? There will always be some room for new books—I can store them on the floor. One of my dreams is to have a library room for all my books in our next apartment. 

While my colleague was choosing which books to buy, I started reading “Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy” by Whitney Goodman.

I ended up buying this book and some others.

We buy books because they meet the needs that we have in our lives.

Before buying this book, I had read many research studies on toxic positivity and “Thank God It’s Friday.” I wanted to read more about it and not just read anything, but something that is based on research studies. Here I am, reading ” Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy” by Whitney Goodman.

The book Toxic Positivity is written in simple English, i.e. even if you are not an expert in psychology, you will understand everything in the book.

As the author is a psychological therapist, she shares and analyzes some of her clients’ stories. It helps to understand toxic positivity in depth.

This book is not just about social media but also about toxic positivity in our daily lives.

Often we share motivational quotes online, but are they really motivational or toxic? We may not realize that we try to comfort our loved ones using the toxic approach.

Here are some examples from the book of toxic phrases:

Everything happens for a reason.
Everything will be fine.
It could be worse.
You will be fine.
Just smile!
You have so much to be grateful for.
Just be positive!
Never give up!
Good vibes only.
Other relationships are worse. Be grateful for what he does for you!
No one will love you until you love yourself. 
Love means sacrifice. 
Blood is thicker than water. 
That’s just the job.
Wow, you are brave!

Those are toxic expressions. We should remember that

“Healthy positivity means making space for both reality and hope.”

Whitney Goodman

Moreover, the author explains in detail how to avoid toxic phrases, using bright examples with dialogues. Let me give you an example that you can find in the free preview of the book (see below). It is about losing a job. Yeah, we want to comfort and cheer a friend up. But saying that it happened for a reason (How is your friend gonna pay the bills and feed her/his family?), or using “at least…” phrases lead to nowhere. Yeah, at least your friend is alive. It is not comforting in a critical situation. Such dialogues lead to nowhere.

Whitney Goodman tells what we could say instead, and what drives us to use the toxic approach.

One of my recommendations is to read this book with a highlighter at hand because there are many good ideas to “save” for later.

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I was reading this book during the blackouts in Kyiv, Ukraine. Luckily, I have a desk lamp that has a USB port and can be connected to my power bank.

I wrote a book review by hand in my notebook.

Unfortunately, I could not use my PC because of constant power outrages in Kyiv, Ukraine because russians have been bombing our power stations. On average, there is no electricity every day for 12 hours a day: 4 hours in the morning, 4 hours in the evening or at lunchtime, and 4 hours at night.

I decided not to give up and write the book review of “Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy” by Whitney Goodman by hand.

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